A Thief
I'm practicing with another student. Someone is instructing the
class, trying to provide the information and practice required to
eventually "own" the technique of the moment.
To my left is a white belt, a new student practicing with a green
belt who's been around for several months now. The white belt is
having trouble with the technique. The green belt begins to help by
telling the white belt how to correct the problem. Sound familiar?
Before long, the white belt is having a little one-on-one training
session -- lots of talk with little action
The self-appointed instructor is a thief!
The green belt has the best of intentions, but has taken the student
from the class, the teacher from the student, and time off from
practice. Moreover, green belts seldom teach. They have much to
learn and even with the best intentions, little to teach.
An
Imposter
I'm practicing with another student. Someone is instructing the
class, trying to provide the information and practice required to
eventually "own" the technique of the moment.
The instructor explains a concept and a student to my left asks a
question. The question was stated as, "So you mean that..." with a
rephrasing of what the instructor already said. I can tell the
question isn't an honest question because it carries an expression
of doubt. The student didn't want to know the answer. The student
wanted recognition for understanding, for participating. This
student is pretending to be interested in what the instructor has to
say but really wants to be perceived as knowledgeable. The ego is at
work.
Another student asks a question. The instructor answers the question
but you can tell that the student is not satisfied with the answer.
The student reiterates what a previous instructor has stated. This
student wants the instructor (and the other students) to know that
there are other opinions on how this should be done. This student is
pretending to contribute additional information, but really doubts
the instructor. The ego is at work.
We begin practice. We have been given a specific series of moves and
everyone does just what was asked. After a while a couple of
students start to change what they are doing. Another pair is
stopping to discuss each success and failure and everyone thinks
they are very active and kinetically participating. Well, yes, they
are. But they each have their own agenda. They are posing as
interested students but are really only interested in personal,
immediate gratification. They are not practicing; they are
demonstrating and posturing. The ego is at work.
A
Victim
I'm practicing
with another student. Someone is instructing the class, trying to
provide the information and practice required to eventually "own"
the technique of the moment.
A student on my
left complains of a problem with the technique. The instructor
suggests a solution and asks the student to try again. The student
tries, exaggerating the problem to show how difficult it is. The
instructor suggests another solution. The student wants the perfect
technique to magically appear, without effort. Uke weakens the
attack to give tori a better chance.
Tori is more able now, and succeeds against
a less effective attack. Tori feels better while the technique
suffers. Tori and Uke switch roles. The former tori attacks with a
blast so the resulting technique requires a rugged fall. When the
student complains to too much force, tori reduces the focus of the
attack to spare Uke. Uke fakes the fall. The technique suffers, the
risk is removed, and the reality is gone.
The student can look good (to some) without feeling
threatened and without any buttons being pushed. The student is a
victim -- a victim of wanting something for nothing.
A
Charlatan
I'm practicing with another student. Someone is instructing the
class, trying to provide the information and practice required to
eventually "own" the technique of the moment. When the practice
grows more difficult, it becomes too much work for a student on my
right. The student needs a drink of water. The student's partner has
to wait until the student returns, and they begin to practice again.
The student assumes the role of tori.
The partner is a good Uke, providing many quality
attacks, but tori doesn't volunteer to be Uke. The teacher then
selects another technique and a change of partners. The student
again assumes to role of tori. After a while the teacher yells,
"Change partners" and the student needs another drink of water. I
remember that this being the student that always arrives just after
the dojo clean up is complete, on Saturday morning.
This is also the student that had to leave just before
the planned project last week. But this student is a top-notch
politician -- a wonderful student to have around, unless you require
someone who is willing to "walk the walk."
So who is this
student?
Probably all of us. The thief, the imposter, the victim, and the
charlatan are all the inner beast, the ego. That part of us that is
always seeking gratification, stroking, ease, and recognition.
We're all thieves. We all want recognition, so we steal a little of
everyone's time to get it, even if it's from someone who doesn't
know what's going on yet. And we all play mind and word games when
we are being the imposter. Our mind is a wonderfully clever,
deceiving thing. It even deceives us to make us think we are being
honest.
But it is seldom open. Our cup is seldom empty.
Our egos protect us from submitting to the will of others. This has
helped the survival of the species, but it plays hell with the
learning process. We often play the victim. The mind is always
looking for the easy way. If we believe what we feel, the mind will
make us feel that the way of least discomfort and greatest
gratification is the only choice.
We lie to ourselves to justify the lie we
share with others. The charlatan is a very skilled thief, who is an
imposter, who justifies it by blaming it on the world or others.
Is it terminal? No more than life. But we must be on guard because
those students are all of us. None of us is immune to our own minds.
We must always check our motives -- verify our agenda when we act
(or react), because these are just some of the forms the
"justifying" beast within will take. In fact, as you read this, you
will remember seeing these students on the tatami. But do you
remember seeing them in the mirror? Not if your inner beast is in
charge.
But isn't this what aikido is about? Our practice gives us an
opportunity to bring the beast into the open where we can identify
it, lay it naked, and stomp it to death. Then we can just shut up
and practice. Of course it will be back in another form, but so
what. This is a life-long pursuit.
( Reprinted with
permission from
Jiyushinkai's
"Budo News" Newsletter. )
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